Solving the “I love her/him, but I am not ‘in love’ with her/him” riddle.
In a very informative and quite personal conversation, meet an esteemed colleague of mine, Belden Johnson, who will take us on a journey through the mystifying world of human relationships, especially that most mysterious of all, the love relationship.
You know how it goes . . . you meet her/him and suddenly, like the proverbial bolt out of the blue, the magic happens. Feelings of love are ignited, you feel vibrantly alive, and it hurts to be apart. Deep commitments are made to one another. Life is beautiful… at least for a while. But soon – perhaps a year or two later, or even sooner — love’s sweet rose loses its intoxicating fragrance. Things that you once found endearing now begin to irritate you, and sadly, as BB King would say, “The Thrill Is Gone.” Not surprisingly, someone at work begins to look awfully attractive and the relationship to which you are committed unravels completely. If this scenario hasn’t happened to you, it has probably happened to someone you know. That’s how it seems to go these days – 80-90% of our love relationships come crashing down. Even when we go so far as to get married, 43% still end up in divorce – and perhaps an equivalent number end up being zombie relationships. I remember a New Yorker cartoon in which a gift counter salesgirl says to a wealthy middle-aged fellow, “Well if she already has everything, why not take her in your arms, look deeply into her eyes and say ‘Je t’aime?’” By the look on the chap’s face, you can tell.
In our conversation with Belden, we learn about the “love cocktail” that nature serves us, and where the “seven year itch” comes from.
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